Jeff Hefel  Founder Guy.  Former HC President. Very old. Likes Elton John. 18th season in the entertainment industry. Needs to do better job with phone. 

​

Joe Dulak Mr. Grumbles, Cast Member Emeritus. Sound Board Engineer First major cast change for franchise. Older than Jeff. Likes eclectic music and dark beer. 

​

Derek Jackson President. AKA Funny Guy.  Evil twin of Coherent Eddie. Developed phrase "Get off my back."  Former writer of hit songs. 9th year on show.  

 

Kyle Black- 4th Chair Youthfulness bodes well. Recent marriage does not. If anything happens to Jackson and Grumbles Founder Guy will be able to go on and on with show.  Has finally esurfaced after 7 year paternity leave. Needs a haircut.

​

Jessica Massimo-Meat of the Week Specialist. Brings youthful enthusiasm unseen since Founder Guy was in his prime.  Has at least 23 personalities Founder Guy worried she may get her own show.

​

Savannah Slafter-metabolically the oldest staff member. One of two living beings who goes to sleep earlier than Founder Guy.

​

Celeste Van Klein-known for outstanding posture. Kills meats that Jess talks about.

​

Jordan Modjeski-grumpy at everything . Has 70 year plan that does not involve any other life forms. Youngest professor on SMU staff.

​

Luke Pauly-newest cast member. Next to Kim Kardashian is Instagram's newest sensation. The only other living being who goes to bed earlier than Founder Guy.

​

 

​

​

 

​

​

​

​